My husband doesn’t listen to me.
Have you ever thought to yourself before, “My husband doesn’t listen to me“? I know I have many times in my marriage.
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And I’m sure all wives have been through this before at one point or another when feeling angry and lost during a marital struggle. You feel as though your husband just won’t listen to you and you’re reaching for anything to hold yourself together.
That’s understandable and more than likely, it’s happened a lot of times before. This is a common problem in marriage and it’s not talked about enough.
We want a solution as wives after experiencing this problem for a while. First of all, before doing anything else, you need to talk to God about this.
How do I get my husband to listen to me?
The question that will pop up in your mind will be, “How do I get my husband to listen to me?”
God can help you through this, sis. You can take advice from marriage therapists and all, but the advice I take from the Lord is straight from His Word, the Holy Bible if I’ve got any questions referring to marriage.
I feel like God’s Word is the most reliable concerning marriage, period. God’s marriage directions and guidance are right there in his Holy word.
Honestly, whenever I asked myself how do I get my husband to listen to me, I wasn’t just wanting him to listen. What I really wanted was for him to do as I say.
This is straight to the point. Are you wanting your husband to just hear you out and listen to you, or are you wanting him to do something YOU want him to do?
Every marriage goes through their challenges and we all have different seasons at different points in our marriage. Nobody has to pretend to have the perfect marriage or act like marriage isn’t a ton of work, when it clearly is.
Marriage requires years of hard work, love, and attention. Nurturing your marriage is a daily occurrence, not just for once in a while.
But, what does one do when your husband won’t listen to you? That’s a great question that we need to tackle.
Ask your husband first and talk to God about it.
Honestly, your husband may sometimes ask himself the same question to himself that you’re asking about him.
Why isn’t my wife listening? Can’t she understand what I’m going through?
Why can’t she just KNOW, shouldn’t she know after being married to me all of these years?
He could be wondering the very same thing as you are. And you wouldn’t even know it, unless you asked.
Communication is so important in your marriage, so before anything make sure you ask your husband what is bothering him. Ask him why isn’t he listening to you?
Don’t forget that you need your husband’s input also in this important matter of listening. You’re doing yourself a favor by asking him first.
God wants you to communicate with your husband and listening is key. He wants you to honor your husband and let him lead your family.
Let’s go ahead answer this question that wracks all of our minds, what to do when your husband won’t listen to you. There isn’t a simple one-step answer.
Don’t fear wives, God has you and he’s listening. Remember, prayer is key and God wants to guide you in your marriage.
Even writing out a prayer can truly benefit your marriage. Listening to a Christian marriage podcast can too and these are only a few suggestions.
This prayer journal is perfect for writing out your daily prayers to God. It’s so beautiful too!
How do you talk to someone who won’t listen?
Wives, I do know how frustrating it is to talk to your husband when you’re feeling as though everything you’re saying is going through one ear and out the other.
Seriously, nobody is perfect and there’s not much I find more frustrating than not being listened to, valued, and respected. I’m sure you feel the same way too when this happens to you.
Here’s a disclaimer: I’m not claiming to be a marriage expert, but I am hoping by sharing my experience with married women who need advice that it may actually help them in their marriage.
For those of you who have just tuned in, I have been married for almost 8 years and my marriage has been a huge learning experience for me. I don’t claim to have the perfect marriage or say it wasn’t hard getting to this point, but we are very happy and blessed.
I’d say my husband and I have a successful marriage. We didn’t get here overnight at all.
Marriage was a huge learning curve for us. It truly helped us to have friends who were going through the same struggles as we did so that we could relate.
God loves you and he values your marriage. He wants you to be happy and he wants your husband to be happy too.
Don’t hesitate to educate yourself with the Word of God and learn more about marriage. Sometimes, the answer lies within the Word and He can help you in your marriage.
Better than anyone can, really. You have to have faith.
Wives, stay strong, and have faith.
As wives, our duty as being faithful Christian wives is rather difficult. Because we value God, love, and respect Him we try to follow what’s in the Bible and the guidance we receive from church.
And the Bible does want us to respect and love our husbands. I know it can be tough to be patient with your husband especially if he’s not listening to you and you are feeling unappreciated.
But trust me when I say, God has a way and will make a way for you. You need to have patience and faith.
God will help you and he’ll hear your prayers. Just don’t give up and pray consistently.
You need to pray over the man you married over and over again. Pray that he becomes the active listener you’ve always wanted as a partner.
Take the time to pray to God about how much you want him to change. Tell him how much you want your husband to listen to you and to actually hear the message you’re trying to send across.
Distractions can interfere in your marriage.
Wives that are also moms, I know how demanding it can be when children are wanting your attention in the background and your husband is also wanting your attention, all while you are just trying to get dinner cooked for everyone.
Does that sound overwhelming? It does sound like that because it IS.
It’s important in these situations to remember to be patient and kind. These little annoyances may seem small to some people, but for others, it can really get in the way of life and marriage with time.
Now, I realize every marriage is different. Every single husband is different too.
However, my husband does work hard labor so his body is physically tired when he gets home and I like to help him as much as I can, as a work from home mom. And I try my hardest to remember that working hard labor can be exhausting.
Of course, some days are better than others but I try to remind myself that he’s had a long day and so have I. I try to be more empathetic on my part when I am in a slightly better mood.
Even though I am a “stay at home mom”, I’m also busy running my website whenever I get a chance to myself to provide a little extra income for my family. I’m constantly busy.
Running a website from home while being a homemaker is such hard work! And I’ve had my trying days.
Being a work from home mom doubles some pressure on me and whenever that happens I remind myself to breathe and take a break. Life doesn’t HAVE to be so stressful.
And it’s not now with my productive morning routine I use to balance out my work from home mom life.
Taking breaks isn’t bad.
Taking a break gives you that time you need to think and to react. You’re reacting by choosing to breathe and collecting your thoughts.
I’d be lying if I said I don’t need to take a few breaks for myself. I’m not sure if anyone out there struggles with anxiety in general but anxiety is tough and can interfere with your marriage.
When there are disagreements and arguments within your marriage and you become anxious, it could potentially make your problem worse.
When my second child was born, anxiety became real to me and I had some trouble coping with it. Fortunately, taking breaks for myself to help me out a lot and taking some deep breaths.
You aren’t a superhero, you’re human, wife and mom. And sometimes breaks are more than needed, they’re necessary.
Self-care is so important because loving yourself first is key to loving others. And you need to take time to yourself if you’re going to put a hundred percent into your marriage.
Here is an amazing self-love workbook that can really help you feel better about yourself and learn to love yourself. This can help you out so much!
My husband doesn’t get anxiety as I do in disagreements. He actually likes discussion and talks and I’m the opposite with disagreements if that makes any sense.
However, he respects my needs for breaks and actually encourages it. It’s nice now because once I take a breather, we come to a compromise afterward.
Sometimes, all I need to do is cool off to take a breather and listen to him make his point. And he can come to terms with my side of the argument.
So, how do I get my husband to listen to me?
The million-dollar question that comes to our minds far too often. It’s a question that comes from despair.
In order to see results and get your husband to listen to you, you need to make sure you’re holding up your end of the marriage. I am constantly hearing complaints of husbands not listening and when frustrations seep out in conversation it’s always the same question.
How do I get my husband to listen to me?
It’s not a bad question either but it’s one that you have to be apart of the solution for in order to see results.
As a married woman for many years I have made several married friends now. And I often hear the same complaints (just as I have complained occasionally), that their husband won’t listen and they are tired of it.
I have actually thought for a while about this post and have prayed about it before I wrote it, asking God for guidance. I am being careful about what I write because I take marriage so seriously.
God takes marriage so seriously, too. I only want to reflect on God’s word and not give any bad advice here.
Ask yourself these four important questions before we answer, “How do I get my husband to listen to me?”
Questions you need to ask yourself.
Question 1- Am I telling him what I want or need in a way that he understands?
Sometimes, when my husband and I are having a difference in opinion and I am frustrated, I’m not telling him what my problem is, I’m YELLING it at him.
Who likes to be yelled at? Not me. So, why am I yelling at him?
He’s going to feel like you’re attacking him if you’re yelling at him and not listening to him when you’re raising your voice to get your point across.
Honestly, when I raise my voice to let my children know they aren’t doing the right thing, it upsets them! If even your child knows when you raise your voice you’re mad, then how can you expect your husband to react well when you’re yelling at him?
I get so upset when my husband yells at me and isn’t calm talking to me, so why should I do that to him? It makes no sense.
A lot of times yelling or shouting can really upset your husband even further and cause them to either ignore you or shut down. Always try to speak nicely or wait until you’re feeling up to communicate as the bigger person.
When you want your spouse to listen to you, you need to be nice and polite. Listening really goes both ways.
He’ll respond to you better when you’re attentive and loving, not being condescending or attacking his voice.
Wives, I know it can be hard trying to be the best version of yourself when you are just plain old fed up. I know how you are feeling and I’m sending you lots of good wishes and prayers while you go through this difficult time.
Remember to stay calm.
Question 2- Am I picking a quiet and calm time to discuss what I’m feeling inside?
Wives and mothers, it’s time to really focus on why your husband isn’t listening to you. Are you being calm when trying to get your point across?
Being calm helps so much. Praying before talking to him will give you the clarity you are seeking, trust me.
You don’t have to do this all on your own. Remember to rely on God and have faith in Him so that you can have the strength to get through these tough times and He will help you. God WANTS you to come to Him for ANYTHING.
And I mean, anything. It’s time to tell the Lord how you’re doing in your marriage.
Do you need help? God’s got you.
And it’s time to listen. He loves you and just wants the best for his daughter.
He IS the King of Kings, you know. And he loves you so much and he wants to help you out in your marriage. God wants your husband to listen to you.
Last of the questions of –How do I get my husband to listen to me?
Question 3- Am I asking him what he needs from me too?
Marriage is for two people, not one person. Including his feelings in all you can is not an easy task, but with the Grace of God, this is completely possible.
I’m not the most selfless person in the world so this took some adjusting to. I learned marriage is a lot more work than I had originally thought. Make sure you’re doing what you can to be a good wife to your husband.
Question 4- Are we willing to work out a compromise?
Oh yes, time to agree. Or agree to disagree. Either way, a compromise is needed.
Try your hardest to see from his point of view and don’t forget to include your opinion, because it matters too. Stay focused on being amicable and you’re sure to find a compromise.
To be honest, at first in my marriage I mostly wanted things done my way. I always thought my way was the BEST way.
My husband would be upset because he said that I only saw things my way. This is still true but now I have opened my heart to him and I’ve been surprised to discover my way isn’t the only way that made sense.
Listening to your husband will benefit your marriage, especially if you haven’t bothered to listen before. It hurts to admit when you realize you haven’t listened to your husband.
But, it’s not uncommon. Just remember to invest time in listening to your husband and paying attention to his ideas.
Listening to your spouse is key.
Listening to your spouse FIRST is the best way to get your spouse to listen to you. Just as God wants us to act kindly to others, it’s important to show love to your spouse by listening to him first.
You may be surprised at his thoughts, goals, ambitions, and future plans.
I have always known that my husband is a very ambitious person but actually listening to his ideas and thoughts DAILY really helped our marriage out. Really listening to him and taking an interest in what he’s saying isn’t meant to be for just a few days.
It’s been YEARS. As smart as you are, your husband could be smarter than you in lots of other things! It’s not all about you. It’s about both of you.
What to do when your husband doesn’t listen to you.
Once you’ve tried to communicate your opinion in a nice manner and it’s still not working, it’s time to talk to God. It’s time for prayer when your husband won’t listen and he’s not changing.
A person has to listen and value your opinions on their own, nobody can change that. You cannot change your husband no matter how hard you try.
You’ve got to understand that people change when they want to change. And you’re not in charge of that because you’re not God, sis.
God can change your husband, of course. He works in people’s lives and he can change others with a blink of an eye.
Even if it feels like it’s just not at all possible. And it’s time for you to really focus your attention on the Lord and start praying for your husband.
Key points to remember.
- Spend time praying to God for your man.
Ask the Lord to change him. You’ve invested all this time and energy into your marriage, don’t forget God is right there alongside you.
Marriage is what God wants for you and if you’re having a hard time, it’s time to pray to the Highest. Putting off prayer isn’t helping you or your marriage out at all.
Pray to God that he will listen to you and that his faith grows.
- Pray for your husband.
You need to pray for your marriage, for you, and for you TWO. Going into a marriage without praying is so hard. I don’t know if I would have been able to do that.
Scratch that, I just wouldn’t be able to. I know God and He is the foundation of my marriage. God needs to be present in my marriage, period.
- Don’t stop the prayer process even though it is taking longer than you anticipated.
This is a process and takes time, no matter how impatient you may feel. I have let impatience get the best of me, time and time again.
Be the opposite and focus on the process. Remind yourself to be patient with God and everything happens for a reason.
Pray to God that your husband learns to listen to you and value your opinion and input.
Prayer for your husband is powerful.
I can’t tell you how many times reading the Word of God has helped me in my problems in life. This is a beautiful and amazing woman’s study Bible meant to help women.
Strengthen your relationship with God and study while you’re at it too. This is one of the best study Bible’s out there.
I really pray and hope this post has helped you out in your marriage. Write your prayers out in your prayer notebook if it helps.
Keep track of them and look back at them throughout the years. You’ll be surprised at how much God answers prayers and we just aren’t paying enough attention when he does.
God bless and until next time,