10 tips for fighting for your marriage.
Today I’m sharing 10 useful marriage tips for fighting for your marriage. Are you wondering how to make your marriage successful and what it takes to get there?
Honestly, that’s what every wife I know wonders and wants to know at some point or another.
Disclaimer: I’m not claiming to be a marriage expert, but I am sharing my experiences from my marriage of over 8+ years married. I’m sharing these tips in hopes of helping another person with their marriage.
I took the time to create a marriage workbook that is so helpful. This marriage workbook is fillable and filled with prompts and exercises meant to help you with your marriage.
It’s important to take the time you need for your marriage. Make sure to invest time into your marriage and help nourish it as it needs in order to grow.
Is it worth it to fight for your marriage?
In my opinion, it’s completely worth it. Marriage is very sacred and special to me, and should be treated as such.
When things weren’t going so well in my marriage, my husband and I did fight for our marriage. Sometimes, one fought more than the other.
We just didn’t and never want to give up on commitment we take so seriously. You and your partner should fight for your marriage one hundred percent, together.
The most common issues that married couples fight about is: finances, jealousy, respect, and commitment. Like I always say, every marriage is different.
Not all issues are the same, but some are. My workbook can truly help you out in your marriage and help you identify the root issues.
Key tips to fighting for your marriage.
Here are 10 things I got rid of in order for my marriage to completely thrive, arguments to minimize, and love to grow the right way. These are the ways I fought for my marriage to make it better.
#1- It’s always about “me,me,me.”
Marriage needs to be filled with compromise, every day. At the start of my marriage I focused on how I felt, myself, and everything going on with me.
Sadly to say, a lot of people do this. Take note that some do this more than others do.
I think postpartum had a ton to do with it, but when I learned to compromise with my husband and really listen to him, our marriage improved significantly.
Don’t: make things all about yourself. I know you’re an important part of the marriage and your feelings DO matter. Just remember it’s not all about you.
So, it’s time to focus on both of you and equal attention to you both.
Have you ever been resentful towards your partner? After many years of marriage, resentment is normal to build up.
Many things can go wrong in a marriage and issues could be left unresolved. Whatever the case is, years has a lot to do with it because of the time frame.
However, you need to cleanse yourself of those feelings (if you’re experiencing resentment towards your spouse) in order for your marriage to continue to grow and thrive. Resentment isn’t a good feeling.
This can cause you to feel angry, hurt, and to hold grudges. If you have a lot of resentment, consider getting help because it’s not good to hold all of your feelings inside.
Ask God to help you in prayer as well. Life is too short to hold onto resentment for years in a marriage.
Oh, anger. This one is tricky yet, pretty common in marriages.
A lot of times when we are stressed or overwhelmed, feelings of frustration will come out. You could be feeling angry and taking it out on your spouse when you don’t really need to be.
A really great and helpful tip is to sit down during a time you are feeling pretty calm and level headed. Maybe, have a warm cup of tea ready and grab your favorite planner or notepad.
Make a list of things that make you angry and you may be surprised as to what you end up writing. Sometimes, we are angry at things in our lives that have nothing to do with our spouse.
If this is your case, writing this down will open your eyes to the real problems that lie in your marriage. This can be a real eye opener and can help you turn your marriage around.
More helpful marriage tips.
#4 Talking over him.
Has someone ever just talked over you before you get the chance to finish a sentence? I do that a lot and so does my husband.
We’ve had to learn to pause and let the other finish their thoughts before putting in our opinion. My husband and I are super opinionated people and this took many years of practice to accomplish.
So, learn to not talk over your spouse. It can be frustrating to be interrupted so many times when you have something important to say.
Practice makes perfect, so remember to try your hardest to be patient. It’s just nice to wait until someone is done speaking before inputing because it just shows how much you respect them.
Also, it shows how much you want to hear their complete thoughts.
#5- Not listening to his point of view.
If you’re not listening to your husband, you’ve got to change that. It’s so hard to have a successful marriage without listening to each other.
Once again, this took years of practice. Try to be patient with your husband and listen to his point of view.
Take your time discussing a topic that’s very important to you both. There’s really no rush, so patience is key to marriage.
You’re in this for the long haul.
#6- Being a negative Nancy.
Isn’t it easy to be a negative Nancy? If you let yourself, it sure can be.
Once upon a time, I was pretty negative in my marriage. Mostly, because I tend to worry too much.
We all have different reasons as to why we are negative or not. It’s important to learn more towards the positive side of things in your marriage.
You want to speak light and positivity into your marriage. Bless your marriage in the name of Jesus.
Don’t let negative vibes play a part in your relationship. Focus on the good and what makes you two work together well.
#7- Scrolling on your phone instead of focusing on your relationship.
It can be easy to scroll through your feed on Instagram rather than face problems in your marriage. Though I always recommend a break when arguing, scrolling shouldn’t be considered a break.
When you spend time on your phone way more than your spouse, it can cause problems in your marriage. Tell me, when you’re having an important conversation with a friend, do you appreciate when they ignore you to scroll through their phone?
Personally, I do not. It annoys me when I’m trying to speak about something that matters to me and that person is just scrolling.
Make sure to show your husband respect when you’re talking about problems. Put the phone down and talk.
Major key points to a happy marriage.
#8- When angry, going through a chunk period of the day without talking.
When you fight with your husband, not talking for long periods of time is no good. That’s something you should eliminate, if you haven’t already.
Taking a break is really good but taking too long of a break isn’t. Time how long you don’t speak because you still need to address the issues you’re having.
My husband and I like to stick around each other until we feel like talking about it again. This is usually within 5 minutes of an argument.
#9- Not making enough time for him when my kids were tiny.
So, this major key point I could see controversy on. However, it doesn’t change the fact that your husband wants your attention too.
When I had my firstborn, I didn’t spend much time with my husband. Not as much as I should of.
Like I said, we’re all different. I was going through postpartum.
With my second child, I made time for him and it really helped our entire family. We bonded together and we made such a great team during the newborn stage and toddler stage of my youngest.
Making time for your husband when your babies are little is not a bad thing. It’s the other way around, it can only benefit your family and your home.
#10- Taking advice from those who don’t matter.
There, I said it. Listen, everyone will throw their two cents into your marriage if you go around asking for it.
There’s very few I ask for marriage advice now that it’s been a few years. My first go-to is seriously my mom.
And my dad! They have been the most helpful during my first years of marriage.
Secondly, I’ll talk to my sister and occasionally my best friend. I try to just keep my marriage issues between my husband and I.
However, I have reached out to my parents with my husband before. Whatever works for you is best.
Just be careful who you’re trusting your marriage issues with. It can’t just be anybody.
It should be someone who cares for you and wants to see your marriage succeed.
Does God want you to give up on your marriage?
No, I don’t think He does. I know everyone’s situation is different though, so go with your gut feeling and what you believe is right.
God loves you and only wants to best for you. Before getting married, one should go into a marriage taking it seriously.
I feel like God always wants marriages to succeed but I understand that some just cannot. Only you can be the judge of that and you’ve got the final say.
Do what feels right and know that God loves and supports you no matter what.
Thanks so much for tuning into these 10 marriage tips. I truly hope that they’ve helped you and leave a comment down below if they have.
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