Have you ever wondered to yourself how married couples make it work and last for over 30+ years? I’ve asked myself that many times during my marriage. I’d question my parents because they have been married over 30 years and now, I have been married for 10 years. Learning from other married couples is helpful but what works for one marriage, may not work for your marriage.
There are a few important tips I think every Christian married couple should know and try to follow. It’s up to you to take the advice or not, but I believe these tips helped my marriage out.
Tip#1- Don’t let anyone involve themselves into your marriage.
Now this is a tough tip because we all have loved ones who care for us and want us to be happy. But, sometimes they can overstep boundaries and sway us into making decisions we normally wouldn’t have come up with on our own. So, it’s very important to keep voices out of your ear and talk out any problems you’re having WITH your spouse and not with others.
Though I’m sure our loved ones mean well, involving yourself into personal matters can become tricky. God wants us to work on our own marriage and to seek Him when we are having problems and need help. Church is a great place to seek counseling too. The point is, you don’t need to use friends or family as people who will “help” fix your marriage.
That’s not their responsibility. There are professional therapists and leaders of Churches who can help more. My parents helped me a lot through my marriage but some advice applied to me and others did not.
Gossip is a lot to deal with. After a while, it can hurt even the strongest of marriages. You’re wondering what everyone thinks about you and what they’re saying about you. Instead of telling your best friend every single detail about the problems you are having in your marriage, maybe you should sit down and pray to God about it. He IS your best friend and He won’t tell the whole world what you tell Him.
I find it useful to write out and vent how I feel in my journal. You can even have a specific one set out just for problems that occur in your marriage and you can refer to it from time to time, when you need to. But, you don’t need everyone in your business all the time.
Having a marriage journal can help you see arguments/fights/problems as they occur over time. You can check it out yearly and see if the same issues are still happening. You can add prayers in there too. It’s a neat way to help your own marriage out.
Tip#2- Pray together.
One thing that’s always helped my husband and I during tough times is to focus and pray together. We do pray daily together, almost always before each meal. There are times though when we come together and pray earnestly, especially during hard family times. I believe that’s so important in a marriage is to just take the time to sit down and pray together.
God always wants to hear from us and it’s a good habit to get into to pray together. When you’re confused in your marriage or unsure of what to do, God will open up your eyes and heart to help you see what you need to do. He works miracles and He works wonders. Just don’t give up on Him and understand that God wants the very best for your marriage. That means really keeping yourself still to hear His voice.
Tip#3- Keep date nights alive.
Having kids, a full time job, and so many responsibilities can definitely put a strain on your marriage. As we grow older and time passes by a marriage can quickly become like a routine. And that can be very stressful. My advice is to try to keep those date nights alive.
Take the time to go out together or stay in together. And yes, I know how tedious it can be to have date nights indoors when you have kids and don’t have or can afford a babysitter to watch them. Still, plan creative date nights at home. My husband and I try to have movie and popcorn night together and honestly, we are fine with that. Our schedule is very busy during the week and we make the time to go on adventures and outdoors on the weekend with our kids.
As long as you keep trying throughout the years in your marriage, it will always help your marriage a lot. And that’s something to put effort into and will only help your marriage in the long run.
Tip#4- Respect each other and have set boundaries.
Respect can truly go a long way. The way I see it, treat others the way you want to be treated. I’m not saying that people will treat you well at all times, but it’s good for yourself if you treat others well. You’ll feel better about who you are as a person and how caring you are.
I try to respect people as much as I can, and the same goes for respecting my husband. Your husband should respect you the same way you show him respect. There’s no need to make fun of each other and call each other names. You can be kind and courteous to one another and it goes a long way.
Having boundaries is especially important. Put each other’s feelings first and take note how one may react to certain situations. Be mindful and treat each other kindly. You always want to show your spouse that you have them in mind and you care for them. Disrespecting each other can hurt your marriage.
Tip#5- Don’t forget to show each other love.
This will always be an important marriage tip- no matter the years you’ve been married. Showing each other love will always be necessary in your marriage. Sometimes, your husband needs a reminder of how much he means to you in your marriage.
A way to show each other love can be something as simple as waking up an hour early to spend time together before the kids are up. You can make each other breakfast, lend a listening ear, and just show that you are still interested in your marriage. I’ve gotten into the habit of doing that because it’s good for our marriage.
Raising kids can take over quickly, so you have to make an effort on your part to keep the romance alive. Don’t let routine take over and interfere with the love you both have for each other!
What works for your marriage? Focus a bit on that and make sure you show your love, even if it’s in the little things. They’re important in a relationship. Leave a comment down below if any of these tips spoke to you!
I hope these 5 tips have helped you in your marriage and you try them out. God bless and until next time,