Marriage

15 tips for a successful marriage

15 tips for a successful marriage.

Hello all, today I wanted to share 15 tips for a successful marriage. Marriage comes with its ups and downs, and quite frankly can be hard.

The best way to keep your marriage happy and thriving is to keep having an interest in your spouse, even as years go by. Honestly, this can sound so simple yet as time goes by it can become more and more difficult to do.

That’s why today I wanted to share with you 15 tips for a successful marriage and I have included a free printable to go along with it. Print it out for a pretty reminder of these 15 tips for a successful marriage.

First of all, what makes a happy marriage?

A happy marriage is key to lasting years and years to come. What makes a happy and successful marriage is mutual respect for one another, enjoying each other to the fullest, and being able to trust one another through it all.

The key to a successful marriage is keeping God first. Praying together is so important to make things work.

I always pray for my spouse as often as I can and I pray for our marriage constantly. It really helps to remind yourself daily to pray for your husband.

In the morning is the best time to pray for one another and praying together nightly helps to strengthen your marriage. Today, I’ve decided to share 15 tips for a successful marriage and what has worked for me in my marriage.

Here’s a disclaimer: I’m not claiming to be a marriage expert, but I have been married for a little over 7 years and I do hope my experience helps somebody else.

What does God say about marriage?

The Bible says:

“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”

Ephesians 5:25

Like I said, I’m not claiming to be a marriage expert, but I am sharing what has helped me in my marriage. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and together for 8 years.

It took us a long time to get to really know each other. I used to worry many times when couples in love (but not yet married) would tell me that I need to be “in love” constantly, like head over heels in love.

Though that is nice, it’s not the same for every married couple.

What to do when your marriage is experiencing issues?

So what did I do when I experienced marital issues?

I found counsel from married couples. And I mean couples married for over 30 years.

If you’re ever having issues with your marriage, I highly recommend going to a couple that’s been married for many years for marital advice. Marriage counseling is a great idea, too. There’s no shame in asking for help.

Honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t seek counsel more often. Not only has asking for advice helped my marriage, but a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

If you’re going through marital problems just know you are NOT alone. Others go through it too, and you don’t need to feel alone.

How do you keep your marriage strong?

The way I keep my marriage strong is by constant communication. I’ve always been very vocal about every little thing, except my feelings.

This took a toll on my marriage. However, my husband is the opposite. With years of trust and trying, we finally have great communication that I believe I cherish even more, because of the years it took to build.

My husband loves to talk about work and his passion for music. I love to talk about my blog (all the time) and my kids.

Totally different topics, even though we both talk about our kids a lot, we still have different interests. But, we make it work.

In fact, I actually enjoy hearing something completely different daily. Try to find the joy in your different interests.

I’m the type of person who loves to hear about somebody else’s experiences and thoughts. This is why I love reading.

Whenever I read a new book that I really enjoy it’s hard to put it down!

Honestly, the little things do matter. People can deny it all they want, but I’m all for little gestures. It’s no secret I’m a busy mom and my husband is a busy working dad.

So, even though I really want to talk all day and go on dates, we have responsibilities. Of course, there are date night ideas we do from home, but oftentimes we are very busy and tired at the end of the day.

Little gestures like making coffee in the morning, video chatting during lunch, just reminds me of how much we care for each other.

15 tips for a successful marriage.

Here is the free printable down below.

Table 1

  • Be supportive, even on days you really don’t care to be.

There have been so many days when I truly don’t feel like doing much except falling asleep. Having two kids has really changed my lifestyle and my perspective on life.

Honestly, once 8 o’clock rolls around I’m ready to go to bed. I have learned throughout the years that even though sleep is amazing and much needed, you still need to spend time conversing with your spouse, even if you are tired and you’d rather be resting.

One of my favorite times to catch up is during dinner. I like to see how his day went, what he’s working on at work, fill him in on what happened today with the kids, and any major blogging accomplishments I hit that day.

There are some days bad days when I have a lot on my plate. What mom of two doesn’t? I always try to take my own advice and pray to God to pay attention to my husband. If you need to, say a prayer.

  • “Don’t let work get in the way of your family.” – My husband. 

This tip actually came from my husband himself. Work is a huge part of every person’s life. This is how we all make a living and feed our families.

Regardless, you shouldn’t allow work to take over every single little detail of your life. If you have children, you have kids you need to pay attention to, and even if you love your job making time for them is just as important.

Making time for your spouse is key to a successful marriage.

Family is so important to my husband and I. All we do is for our family.

I encourage you to spend time with your family. This can really strengthen your marriage.

You are building a bond in creating and maintaining a family with your spouse. A connection that is difficult to break.

As great as work is, setting time aside for your significant other is investing in your marriage. I love supporting my husband in his work but I appreciate it when he makes time just for me.

I know taking a break from work is hard, but it’s not impossible.

  • Have breakfast coffee/tea dates daily. 

Talking to each other each morning before the workday begins is reminding your spouse you care enough to not only make time for them but also you are being very considerate. It’s a thoughtful gesture to me when my husband gives me a kiss before he ever leaves for work.

I can’t remember a day he hasn’t in our marriage. In the morning, I like to catch up on school events coming up for my kids and usually what’s for dinner that night.

Filling each other in on even the smallest things is a way to include one another in your day to day activities. You’re strengthening your communication with each other.

  • For every negative thought you have of your spouse, say a positive aloud. You’ll be amazed at how quickly your mood will change.

It’s no secret that I am a fan of positive affirmations. Positive affirmations have helped change my life for the better.

Whenever I catch myself saying negative things to myself, I pause often. Mostly because even if I’m really angry, I know nothing good comes out of saying hurtful things out of spite and anger.

This isn’t benefiting my marriage or me at all. If anything, saying negative things about my spouse just makes my day worse. Changing what you say to be positive can help reduce your stress and help your situation out a little more.

Your body and health come first, so make sure you aren’t intentionally stressing yourself out. Especially when you have the power to change your day, simply by changing your mindset.

Staying positive can help you have a successful marriage.

It’s so easy to jump aboard on the negative train, I used to be there all the time. Even now, sometimes I catch myself slipping and falling into the same negative mindset again.

However, if you are determined to not let negative thoughts about your spouse make you judgmental and angry, chances are you can get through those negative thoughts and turn them into something positive.

  • Surprise your spouse with a thoughtful love letter. Love letters never go out of style. 

I used to write to my husband quite a bit of love letters before I started my blog. Even though I’ve become super busy, I still make time to write him love letters on special occasions.

  • Pray together as much as possible.

Praying with one another can strengthen your marriage.

Praying together shows how much you cherish one another. I love praying with my husband because prayer with someone else makes it all the more special.

Not only are we connecting, but we are also connecting with God too. There’s nothing sweeter than that. Also, we are praying for what’s most important to us and I can get to know what’s on my husband’s mind.

During prayer, a lot of personal thoughts and feelings come out. Prayer is very important in a marriage.

  • Don’t go out of your way to start an argument.

This is one of the most difficult tips to follow, depending on who you married to. Some people are more confrontational than others.

Whenever you feel yourself starting to get angry you can simply walk away from the situation. It always helps to take deep breaths in order to calm down first.

Breaks are never a bad thing or taking time for yourself. You can read more here on how to avoid starting an argument with your spouse.

  • Try not to be too pushy or demanding. 

It goes without saying that the pushier and more demanding that you are, the less likely your spouse is to open up to you. I know there are so many everyday stresses in our busy lives but try to maintain a friendly presence with your spouse.

I can’t lie, my husband has mentioned to me more than once that I can be so pushy. At the beginning of our marriage, that caused a lot of friction.

With time passing, I learned that it’s best to take a few breathers and give him space. I need my space too, to calm down. I’m not one to shy away from an argument, which is something I need to work on.

God wants you to be a kind and loving spouse.

” Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31:10. 

Some days, I’m not feeling like a patient and kind woman. Feeling far from patience isn’t uncommon for me.

But, God wants us to try harder, especially on the hard days. I feel like those days make or break us and really mold us into a better person.

  • Gift your husband something thoughtful. 

Gifting your spouse with a gift you’ve been working on for quite some time means so much! I know I’m touched if my husband does anything with thought behind it.

He’s made me beautiful songs and written me thoughtful letters I still keep to this day. It’s not just about the sentiment, it’s also the fact that he took time out of his day to make me something he put his heart into.

If your husband or wife does something thoughtful for you, make sure you tell them you appreciate it. It may mean more to them than you think.

Can you have a successful marriage?

Yes, you can. The number one way to actually have a successful marriage is to keep the romance alive. Of course, these other 15 tips for a successful marriage are very helpful but being in love with one another and wanting to be around each other is key.

Years go by in your marriage, so you want to keep the spark alive as much as you possibly can.

  • Keep the romance alive. 

Don’t let having children affect the romance in your marriage, for those of you with children! We sure did, with our first born.

We were miserable, and that’s just putting it lightly. Dealing with postpartum depression was tough on us, but we managed to get through it.

Work on spending time together and making time for each other. I like to schedule date nights for my husband and me and make our favorite snacks while watching Netflix.

The great thing about Netflix is there is always something new that just came out. New releases are fun to look forward to watching.

My husband and I enjoy binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy together, too.

More of the 15 tips for a successful marriage.

  • Trust each other. 

Trusting the person you love comes easy to others and harder for those who have been deceived. Look, I know trust is a very sensitive issue in marriage.

You need to be able to trust your spouse, that’s the basic foundation of your marriage. Trusting your spouse doesn’t have to be immediate every single day.

Trust takes TIME to build, so you really don’t need to put any pressure on time when it comes to learning to trust your spouse. The best tip of the 15 tips for a successful marriage that I have is, trusting your spouse can be a long process so don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

Trust is a day by day process.

  • Keep God first in your marriage. 

If I were taking notes out of these 15 tips for a successful marriage, I’d highlight this! I love God and I have a close relationship with Him.

If my husband weren’t close to God, I couldn’t picture myself being married to Him. We have common faith backgrounds and always put God first.

Personally, I feel like putting God first really helps prevent arguments and keeps us having faith and hope in God while times are hard.

15 tips for a successful marriage

The last of the 15 tips for a successful marriage.

  • Include each other in all important decisions. 

You HAVE to talk to your spouse about those important decisions. I don’t like to talk to anyone about my choices, I used to but with time I got tired of hearing everyone else’s opinion over a decision I thought I was making better.

But, now I realize there are important people you need to discuss decisions with. A given is your husband or wife. They are your partners for life and need to be apart of important decision making for a fact.

  • Agree to disagree.

We can’t all agree on the same thing all of the time. We’re unique and all different.

Maybe try listening more to your spouse first and get all of the facts. The more you listen, the more you learn.

I don’t agree with all the choices or decisions my husband makes. But, it helps me understand to listen to him. I need to really hear him out to try to get his point of view.

This doesn’t happen in like 30 minutes for me, I actually need more time than that. And that’s perfectly fine, you’re sharing a lifetime with each other in marriage so in order to have a successful marriage I feel like putting time in shouldn’t be an issue.

Marriage takes years to build and that’s the beauty of it.

  • Reach compromises. 

Sometimes, it’s important to just let your spouse get their way! Especially if you’re like me and get your first choice most of the time.

Let’s not be selfish and share a little. It can be from just letting them pick a show OR letting them pick what they want to do that Sunday, instead of what you wanted to do.

Try to reach a compromise. What helps me a lot in making a pros and cons list.

Typically, at the moment I don’t write it out. There may not be enough time for that, but I do it quickly in my head.

Either way, it comes down to sharing decisions with one another and giving the other person a turn in what you’ll do.

I really enjoyed sharing these 15 tips for a successful marriage, that’s worked for my marriage for many years. Though every single marriage is different, it’s nice if any of these tips helped you out a bit. Remember to pray when your spouse frustrates you because God loves you together!

Keep your marriage strong and try your best to have a level head throughout it all. What has helped you in your marriage?

Have you been married for more than a few years? Do you find any of these tips useful? Leave a reply in the comments down below. God bless you and your marriage.

Until next time,

xoxo,

mrsplanahead

 

 

 

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1 Comment

  1. My brother is having some serious trouble with his relationship and he wants to do what he can to make things better. They need to go see a therapist soon to make sure they are getting expert counseling. I love that you mentioned communication and how it needs to be constant in order to have a great relationship.

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