how to have a loving marriage

How to have a loving marriage

how to have a loving marriage

Are you wondering how to have a loving marriage? From my perspective, a happy and loving marriage comes with years of hard work. Happy marriages don’t just happen as easily as 1-2-3.

Every marriage is different because everybody is different. I’m not claiming to be a marriage expert, but my husband and I always keep God first in our marriage.

Keeping God first in our marriage includes praying together and staying faithful to God’s word. We both read the Bible, pray, and try to serve the Lord daily.

A marriage is a lot of things but I think relationships work better when there’s a foundation holding the marriage together. And I’m grateful that my marriage is founded on God and God’s love. This makes my marriage feel very special to my husband and me.

Faith is very important to us and I do believe that’s what’s helped us be and stay married for almost a decade now. A decade is a long time and as most married people know, being married isn’t easy. We know it takes hard work, commitment, time, dedication, and patience.

Here are 7 tips I’ve come up with on how to have a loving marriage.

I believe it was around my 4th or 5th year of marriage when I started googling “how to have a happy marriage.” All types of things would pop up, mostly leading to Pinterest with all these happy couples images.

After a few more years of marriage, I came to realize that nothing on Google will ever really help your marriage. Yes, the guides are helpful but I wasn’t reading the correct guides, in my opinion. As a woman of faith, I needed to be reading a Christian woman’s guide offering me prayers and helpful tips. Someone who truly cared about the direction my marriage was going in and wanted to be helpful.

I’m not saying that the basic guides don’t work. I’ve tried them before. “How to keep your man happy”, make your husband amazing food and spend time with him, etc. Yes, all of that is true. You should always make your husband amazing food, I’m hoping you both are eating well!

But the thing is, you need prayers from friends and helpful tips that are worth reading. Tips that are worth your time, that are truthful and actually helpful.

I thought about how my marriage came to be the way it is now. I’m a homeschooling Christian mom of 2 and I’m married to a Vet. I do believe I have some helpful tips for you, if you’d like to read on, go ahead. Keep in mind these tips are meant for Christian women who want a loving and caring marriage and are willing to work hard for quite some time to get there.

Keep God first.

My number one tip, of course, is to keep God first. You can keep God first whatever way you’d like. The way I do, is I teach my kids about Him all of the time. We pray at our meals to give thanks to God for blessing us with food to eat.

Not just that, I try to read the Bible when I’ve got a spare chance. Usually, I am very busy homeschooling my kids so I tend to turn on a Podcast on Pandora and my favorite is from Joyce Meyer. Her inspiring messages help me have a good start to my busy day ahead.

Podcasts are a great resource for a busy person. I had so much time to read before I had kids! However, with my limited free time, I find it much easier and helpful to listen to a great podcast or an audiobook instead.

Another way I like to keep God first is to create inspiring content about Him and share it with the world. I like to spread positivity and cheer to help motivate others who need some encouragement in their lives.

I feel like God has called me to speak His Word and share encouragement from Him. It’s an honor for me to spread God’s Word and I do have a lot of respect for Him and His teachings.

Keeping God first in your marriage isn’t hard to do. I pray for my husband every day. But, I don’t just do that. I talk to God when things don’t feel right. Talking to God and conversing with Him is something I enjoy and want to do daily.

When things aren’t feeling right in your marriage and you want guidance, go to God. Don’t gossip to a family member or friend. Remember that your marriage is your business and God can help you get through tough things. Have faith and trust in Him.

I’m not saying that going to a trusted friend or family member is a bad idea. God sends people into your life to help guide you during hard times. Still, go to God first. Ask Him for guidance before trusting someone with your private matters.

Pray over your husband daily.

Praying for your husband should be a daily thing. I like for my husband to pray for me. I’m not sure if he does it daily, but I make sure to pray for Him daily.

I like for my husband to feel my support and praying for him means a lot to him. When I pray for him, I ask God to protect him as he goes about his day and to bless him with good health and no illness. That’s also how I pray for my entire family and myself.

My third tip for having a loving marriage is to pray and ask God to be the woman your husband needs. This is a very important prayer that I recommend taking the time to do.

It can be difficult to sometimes understand that we aren’t all that our husband needs. We need to remember that we all don’t have our best days in marriage. Sometimes, we aren’t making our partner happy.

And that’s okay to admit, it’s nothing bad. We are human and we can’t all have it right, 24/7. So, pray to God and ask him to help you be the godly wife that your husband really needs.

God loves you and wants the best for your marriage. Especially if you are keeping him at the foundation of your marriage. This means a lot to God.

I always pray to God when I don’t feel like my husband is happy. But, I pray to God to help him be happy and he helps get him there. I’ve come to learn that you just can’t do it all. Learn to let go and let God.

Spend quality time together and be there even when you’re feeling tired.

As a busy homeschooling mom that’s rebuilding my blog back up I will tell you- sometimes I am so tired. I know how a tired mom feels.

I have learned over the years that you CAN catch up on your rest and feel better but it’s still important to spend quality time with your husband, even if you’re tired. There’s a lot of ways to do this and they’re pretty simple.

  • Pick a movie you can both watch together that you wouldn’t mind staying up late to finish. I find that picking a movie I want to see will wake even my tired mom self up. Enjoy a cool, new movie that’s out if your husband wants to spend time with you.
  • Let your husband know you’re pretty tired but talk about today’s events. Fill him in on anything he’s missed and ask him to tell you all about his day. Engage in conversation and make the effort to really listen to him. Tired moms know how to have a great conversation regardless of how tired we are. We take care of our kids all day long and still do a great job talking to them about all their problems and issues they may be having!
  • Shake off the tiredness. I have seen a few posts on where some moms even drink coffee to stay up and spend time with their hubby. I’ve done that before but I drank an afternoon black tea around 5 pm. That’s not a bad idea either. I do recommend this as well. Sure, I don’t have a ton of energy but with a cup of caffeine in me, I do find myself staying up a little later than usual.

The beauty about making the effort to show him you care is that he feels special.

To me, I enjoy making my husband feel special and loved when I take the time to spend quality time with him. He always thanks me for making the effort because he knows I’m tired and busy running our home and homeschooling our babies.

Here’s tip #5: Be patient.

I know being patient is easier said than done. That’s why I know what I’m saying when I advise you to pray all the time. God will gift you the patience you are seeking. It took me quite a while to become a patient person and I’m still working on it every day.

But God is good and he will provide you the patience you seek when you ask him for it daily. Don’t give up and keep praying for patience.

“But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”

Romans 8:25 (NIV)

The point is that patience does not come quickly. And it’s okay to admit that. I think motherhood really helped me start being patient. After years of marriage and praying to God daily, I feel like I am more patient than before.

However, we are all a work in progress. I believe if you keep praying it is well worth it.

Show your husband the loving side of you.

It’s important to show your husband the loving side of you. Make time to show him you care.

Of course, we are all busy and have our own things to do. I advise taking your “me time” whenever you get the chance. We all need our own time to be with ourselves and our husbands need it too.

As important as it is in your marriage to show love, it’s also important to show yourself love too. Try to nurture all sides of your life with love.

Show your husband you love him with thoughtful love letters, planning romantic date nights, and spending quality time together. Remind him you will always be there for him daily.

I like to listen to my husband’s day with no distractions. Put your phone away and stop scrolling for a few minutes and have a real conversation with him. Also, my husband and I like to call each other a lot throughout the day to just check in on one another.

Be kind and thoughtful when you speak to him. You never know if he may be stressed or having a bad day at work. And you may be having a bad day or going through a hard time. Let’s remember that we all aren’t happy all the time and take the time to be considerate of one another’s feelings.

My last tip on how to have a loving marriage.

Here is my last tip on how to have a loving marriage: don’t constantly nag and list out the things your husband does wrong.

Back in my earlier years of marriage, I remember I liked to point out the wrong things in hopes of correcting issues and having everything go just perfect. Sounds like perfectionism and that’s just not realistic.

It took me a while to realize that doing all this “pointing out” sounded an awful lot like nagging. And it wasn’t doing anyone any good. It’s not like I felt better nagging or that things got done any quicker. Nope, that was just putting a strain on our marriage and not helping accomplish anything.

What I have found to be super helpful in my marriage is to pick a time and place to talk about any issue that’s bothering you. And to not just randomly bring it up. I do believe in timing and that it’s key in life.

I think that you should wait for a good time to discuss any issues you’re having with your husband when you’re alone and in private. Just make sure you’re giving each other the respect you both deserve. A marriage should have its’ privacy and other people don’t need to really be involved when you’re bringing up any issues you have with your hubby.

Pick a time to talk to your husband about what’s bugging you and let him know how you feel. Let him know what you want to change or what you need help with.

I truly hope these loving marriage tips have helped you out today.

My hope is that I’ve encouraged you or helped you in some way today. I’ll be praying over your marriage and I hope things keep going well or they get better. God bless you.

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