Being a mom is hard

Being a mom is hard- 5 ways to refill your cup

Being a mom is hard
Photo by Jose Escobar on Unsplash

It’s so hard to be the best parent you can be and still make time for yourself. If you’re a parent, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Ever since I had my children, being the best mom I could possibly be took up most of my time. It took up so much of my time, in fact, I lost a lot of my so-called friends and missed out on a lot of events that were going on at the time. Looking back, I do wish I had taken the time to spend with friends but at the same time, I wanted to spend all of my time nurturing my kids. And that’s exactly what I did.

I felt like God blessed me when I became a mother, and I still feel that way everyday. And I remember holding my firstborn in my arms and just being so in awe at becoming a mom. And looking into those beautiful brown eyes and promising to be the best mother I could possibly be because that’s what I felt (and still feel) like God called me to do. But, that doesn’t mean that I don’t get drained. That doesn’t mean that my cup doesn’t need to be refilled.

If you’re here- it’s because you KNOW you aren’t making enough time for yourself. You put your kids first and yourself last. I know the feeling. A lot of good moms do this way too much. It’s just not okay. As amazing as our kiddos are, we need to make time for ourselves. You’ve got to refill that cup, even if you don’t want to. And it’s not even that you don’t want to. You’re probably so consumed with taking care of your children, that you can’t even remember what it’s like to take time to yourself.

God does not want you to forget about who you are. He doesn’t want you to lose your identity! No, if anything he wants you to be stronger than you ever were, now that you’re a mom! God wants you to stand tall and firm and to teach your children all about Him. Come on now, but tell me something. How can you do that if your cup is empty?

Let’s define mom guilt.

And that right there, my friend, is the definition of mom guilt. It’s just not fair. You deserve those 2 hours to walk around by yourself and pick out a few outfits to try on. You deserve the time to go try them on, decide you don’t like any of those outfits, and go grab some Starbucks instead. Then, you deserve time to drink your Starbucks, open up your laptop, and catch up on whatever you want. A lot of moms do not get that luxury of time anymore. It’s the sad truth, but the truth nonetheless.

Some want to argue that working moms do.

I’ve been a “work outside the home mom”, “work from home” mom, and a “stay at home mom.” All of these I have been. And let me tell you something. You do not get a break in any of these scenarios, if you yourself do not make it happen. Sorry, but that’s the sad truth. And I do not hear that being talked about enough.

Making it happen.

Look, when you first have your baby; postpartum depression is a real thing. A lot of women have it, and it’s not fun. It sucks. And it takes a while to go away. Give yourself grace during the newborn phase of your child. I’m serious, even toddler years! It is hard. Nobody said motherhood would be a piece of cake. Eventually, you have to make some time for yourself. Even if it’s just spending a few hours painting your nails, watching a movie you like, or reading a book you’ve been waiting to read, THAT is taking care of yourself.

But, I understand if you can’t just take off to spend time on yourself. Maybe you don’t have money for a babysitter right now. Or maybe you don’t trust anyone to babysit. Here are a few budget friendly ways to pamper yourself, that don’t cost too much money. And when you try these ideas out- TRY them out. Make the time for yourself. Maybe your husband or significant other can watch the baby while you do this. Or your mom, sister, loved one, etc.

5 ways to pamper yourself and refill your cup.

  1. Do your nails at home. The best nail polish I have used by far are Sally Hansen and Olive and June. Also, the press on’s from Olive and June stick on super well. I do my gel nails at home. It relaxes me and I feel better having them done.
  2. Go to the library by yourself and pick out a few books. Then read one all by yourself! True, you may not be able to finish a book in time for your hour or 2 hours to be up! If you get to finish a long novel on your own, before kids start asking you to help them with something, you are blessed.
  3. Work out by yourself. Go outside on a walk or a run! You don’t need a gym membership to work out. You can even do some workouts for free on YouTube. And you can stay indoors to get it done.
  4. Have a bubble bath. A relaxing bubble bath is so good for you. Especially with all the stress we deal with daily as moms.
  5. Write in your journal. Print out pictures and have a memory keeping session. This one is something crafty women love to do! I can’t tell you how much I love to craft, plan, and play with paper. That’s one of my most favorite hobbies.

Being a mom shouldn’t restrict you from taking time for yourself.

How are you going to refill your cup today?

Have you done a million things today yet none involved taking care of yourself? I’m guessing you haven’t had time to brush your hair, drink enough water, or even take your vitamins. It’s amazing how much time we need to take for ourselves. And when you’re busy taking care of another, it can be easy to forget about yourself.

Sometimes, I am so overwhelmed. The other day I felt like I was just going non-stop. Task after task with housework, then my toddler needing help going potty. My oldest then asks for help with another thing and then I am back to trying to MAYBE just maybe, work on my website or just craft/ journal. Even when I’m working on something, it still feels like a chore. Reading and listening to music is the most therapeutic for me lately.

Nope, it doesn’t always end up happening. And I am so grateful to God for helping me realize that it’s okay for things to not all get completed and checked off the list. It’s okay to not get it all done. God loves me just as I am and I don’t need to pretend to have it all together, all the time. Thank you God for all you bless me with and for giving me grace. He’s given me grace. He’s told me, You don’t need to have it all together. I have it all together FOR you. Now rest, my child. Rest.

You should take the same advice, mama. I’m serious! Just don’t forget to refill your cup. I promise you that a) it’s worth it and b) you need to do this for your family. What family do you know of likes a stressed out, overwhelmed, and angry mom to be around? Nobody does! Not one person likes that.

A stressed out mom means an unhappy family. You have to take care of yourself too. Because if you aren’t happy, who around you will be?

So, yes you should try to be a happy person. Because when you’re happy; you’re entire family benefits from it. A happy mom has the energy and drive to take care of her family. God has called you to be a mother and keeper of your home. And that’s a huge blessing but also a big responsibility.

And yes, it’s okay to admit you need help. That’s hard for me to admit! But, we all need help sometimes. And that’s okay. It’s nothing to be ashamed of or beat ourselves up over. So, please hear me when I say: You are doing GREAT, mama. Give yourself grace. Stay still a moment and thank God for all He has done for you. All that He will do for you. And just rest in the Lord. Rest in His word and be confident that God will continue to bless your life and your loved ones. Have faith. Okay? He loves You. He won’t ever stop.

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